Never enough Time

It seems like time is running away from me lately. I never find enough time in one do to finish what needs to be done. I went to my doctor for anxiety this week and they put me on a new medication that is giving me the worse side effects ever. They put me on Paxil. It keeps making me really dizzy and I am soooo angry all the time. I'm not sure why. I feel like I am always angry with the kids this week so I just have to walk away. I now just stooped taking the medicine and started to take my old one. I can not believe the way one pill can make someone feel. I hated feeling that mad all the time. My life brings me so much joy, everything I do I find it so interesting to me. I really love the life that I have. So fir me to feel like this, Its just odd, and I do not like it one bit. The move adds a little stress as well. The movers are coming tomorrow to take a lot of things from our house. Then we will leave at 4.00 to go to Dallas for 3 days and house hunt. We have been praying hard for a home that will keep us near other kids , yet a lot of land. We want our children to be able to have others to play with. We are praying that this goes well for us.

For thanksgiving we will be doing it at our house this year. My mom and dad will be coming. They only live about 3 hours away, yet they have only seen my adopted kids a few times. They still do not know the names of all of my kids. It is really sad. I try not to think about it very much or talk about it because I don't want it to bother me. This past month they came to visit us and we had the best time ever. I realised that them not coming to see me all the time was my dad just never being able to really sit still. My mother sat and played with the babies for so long and loved on them. For me it was bitter sweet. I can not remember a time when my mother ever sat and really played with me as a child. I can not remember my mother of father ever telling me that they loved me. So, It was nice to see that my mother had that in her, but sad that it was never said to me. So, this year for Thanksgiving it will be really sweet because I have not spent one with MY family in about the last 5 years. I have 2 brothers that are identical twins, both of them are chiropractors that have led very , very wealthy lives. One of them still does, and the other one has fallen into a terrible place ion life right now because of drugs. He has lost everything, even his family. He will be here to. It is very nice to get to spend time with him because he was so shut off from my family for so long. Now, I am one of the only people that will really sit and talk to him. My other brother financially supports him and send s him to all the fancy rehabs. He just got back from passages in Malibu. It was about 90,000 for one month. Now he is going to another rehab, so I'm not sure if he got his money out of it.

Anyways, I have talked a lot tonight. I have just had a lot on my mind this week. I'm excited to see my family that I thought forgot about me after the adoption. We were sorda an embarrassment to them with 10 kids. I'm happy to know that they are still there for me, and that we are getting close again. I hope next time O blog that I have good news about finding a new house in Dallas!!